Cruising through the internet looking to make sense of metaphysics theories is much akin to the needle / haystack analogy. I don't claim to have all the answers - just some of them, to a varying degree of truth depending on the reader. Truth, my dear reader, is both subjective and objective. To quote David Icke, "Infinite love is the only truth."
Initially my exploration into metaphysics began around 13-14 when I first started using a modem. I would log onto the local bulletin board systems and download various occult files. Spells, incantation and enochian inscriptions. Unfortunately this is what most people think about when they think of the occult. My friends and I tried various rituals. From love spells to summoning demonic forces, we recited many strange words we did not understand.
Before you fly off the handle and judge that I am possessed, please continue reading and all will become clear. It would seem that nothing happened when we performed the rituals. Secretly, we had invited the powers of darkness to come into our lives. If you have dabbled with spells and rituals you did not understand, you may wish to disconnect yourself from these energies. These types of powers I call external powers. You are not using your own personal supply of energy to effect change when you use an outside source. Only high-level magicians have the constitution and ability to manipulate external forces, keeping them in check with their own internal energy. This whole concept of external / internal forces eluded me for many years. Calling on your Master's energy or God's energy is something completely different, yet it could still be categorized as external force. More on this in the Qigong experiments.
As I dabbled with Wiccan, Pagan, Necronomicon and New-Age rituals, much emphasis was placed on psychic abilities. Several times a short burst of psychic power was made available to me, which I quickly squandered on 'parlor trick' effects. One time in grade 7 we were playing bingo. I shouted "B-12" just seconds before the teacher pulled the next ball, which happened to be B-12. Confused, the teacher warned me: "Don't repeat after me!" This was accomplished by sheer intent, manifested at a time that I did not consciously choose. I'll discuss this in depth in the manifestation time requirement theory.
The next step in my occult training was learning about astral projection and lucid dreaming. I read everything I could about the subject. This is where I started learning about chakras and attempted to manipulate them. I believe that many people, much like me in my younger days, attempt chakra manipulation in an effort to open the third eye. Only recently have I understood the detrimental effects this can have on the body and mind. In order to fuel the third eye, you must have a proper base. This means your lower energy centers must be activated or you will cause a burden to your energy system, possibly resulting in depression, anxiety, or other problems due to energetic imbalance. You might be tempted to learn astral projection or lucid dreaming. Depending which approach you take you may indeed reach some degree of success without incurring harm on yourself. The danger in these things is not from demonic attack or spirit possession. As mentioned above, the danger lies in the energetic strain on your system caused by not having enough spiritual power to use the third eye.
By the time I was 17, I began experiencing panic attacks and depression. While occult training is by no means solely responsible for this outcome, it played a significant part. The psychiatrist I was seeing had a firm mindset about anything occult - it was all bullshit. I remember talking to him about feelings of 'drifting' that I experienced occasionally. For example, I would be sitting watching TV when all of a sudden, my arm felt as if it were moving. When I looked down at my arm however, it was perfectly still. I did not understand the feeling of movement caused by my energy body. The idea that all this occult stuff was bullshit was in some way reassuring. I agreed to take medication and did so for about 1 year.
During this period I got the chance to see David Icke speak at a local community center. My interest in freedom from the physical bounds that restrain us was renewed and eventually I gave up on taking the medication. I don't necessarily agree with everything David has to say, but I sure listened intently. I tried to catch him during the break to ask him about Aleister Crowley and magick, but I was stopped at the stairwell by my friend's dad: "Mr. Icke is very tired, would you guys go get him some tea?" So off we went to get him a cup of earl gray. An interesting synchronicity if you think about it. I was deliberately prevented from seeking more information on the subject of dark magic, perhaps by higher forces. If David had spoken with me and told me that Crowley was a great magician capable of many supernatural feats, I might have pursued the dark arts.
When I was 19 I had my first full-blown astral projections. They were caused by a technique that used binaural beats, hypnotic script and tactile awareness. I had little to no control over my astral body during these events. I did however exit my body of my own volition on both occasions. Many people have stumbled upon astral projection, woken up floating above their bodies. This is not the same thing. I laid down with the intent to project and did so on two separate occasions. More on this in my astral experiences.
It wasn't until a few years ago that I started looking into eastern metaphysics. It boils down to this: No one knows all the answers and no one will convince you of anything you don't want to believe. Certain techniques have been refined for literally thousands of years. To re-invent them would be foolish. Listen to the words of the ancient Masters. Trust that all these things were accomplished by expert magicians many times over. Many records were kept, much information was preserved.
- Peace, Love and Light.
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